So I just got a new computer update yesterday and as I describe elsewhere -I inhaled deep a fleeting vapor of new digital life. A momentary glimpse of the great beyond. But as the update completed I felt a void, and wished this whole update obsession could take one step further.
It’s a wish I know can never be fulfilled due to the nature of my mortal coil, but I wish it nonetheless. I wish that, just like my computer software/hardware/firmware updates, there was such a thing as what you could call ‘Life updates’. Or for short –‘Lifedates’.
Yes, every once in a while I would get a little balloon pop up somewhere –perhaps in my bathroom mirror when I am shaving, or in my rear view mirror when I am driving, or on a hand written little note atop my pillow when I lay my head to rest that says “You’ve got a lifedate –PRESS HERE.”
Just imagine, communication in the marriage has been a little rough, you feel like you are not understood and you can’t understand what the spouse is trying to get at, and then there’s the note – ‘You’ve got a communication lifedate press here to download”. So you press, you download and you go broach that uncomfortable subject with the misses and…it just comes out RIGHT. And you FINALLY understand what she is getting at.
Or, the back has been stiff and achy. So you go to the gym, sit down on the machine and there it is- “Lifedate –‘BODY’ press here”. Good bye back ache.
You really want to ask the boss for that raise you think you deserve but you don’t have the kahones to ask for it. Just as the gumption melts away, there it is on your desk- “Lifedate – ‘KAHONES”- press here”. And then you charge right in leaving your boss so impressed he gives you twice what you asked for.
The possibilities are endless.
Maybe someday that warm fuzzy I get will be because that lifedate feels so smooth going down the pipe…