…Or you’ll sound like an idiot. You’ll sound like you don’t know what you’re talking about. And the reality is, if you are slagging these artists in public, you probably don’t know what you are talking about- especially if you are a musician.
1. The Beatles
Hands down the number 1 band you can never talk schmack about. Ever. If you don’t get them, read a book about them. Or watch a documentary. It is imperative to know and understand that they were pioneers in modern rock and pop as we now know it.Were they the right thing at the right time? Yes, there was an element of that. But when they had the chance and the time to show what they were really made of they came through with music that still stands the test of time. Never, ever, talk trash about the Beatles. I admit, I talked trash about them until I was…14. Then I got The White Album. And I listened to Helter Skelter. And I listened to it again. And again and again. Now that is some hard rocking -in spite of the low fi production. It possesses the seeds of Punk, Thrash, Metal, Grunge, and a downright ferocious angst. It’s all there. Listen and listen loud.
2. Jimi Hendrix
I remember as a young pre teen banging my head listening to old school rock like Zep, and Black Sabbath and thinking I was the coolest thing since sliced vinyl. And compared to what the kids were listening to those days…I was. Well, my pre teen idols all mentioned the majesty of Hendrix so I was excited to finally get a hold of a Hendrix record. I waited to be blown away-scraped from the ceiling. I played, I listened…I didn’t get it. I distinctly remember hearing ‘Crosstown Traffic’ and thinking, “That’s it? Where are the screaming guitars and blood curdling vocals? What’s with all the yaba yaba yaba girl is the speed I drive stuff?” So I put it away for another day. Pulled it out when I was 15. Then I got it. Seeing the video of him setting his guitar on fire helped I admit.
Jeff Beck once said he loved to played guitar way back when toting a guitar to school made you look like a geek. Hendrix was the one who turned the tables on that paradigm and made you look cool carrying a guitar to school.
3. Led Zeppelin
OK, we all want to shoot ourselves during the first 75 minutes of ‘Stairway’ and just hurry it up to the guitar solo. And we all cringe when we see old photos of Robert Plant’s ridiculously tight jeans that show waay too much of his Lemon Song. But aside from the over-the-topness of it all, Zeppelin were a force to be reckoned with- then and now. Their influence is still seen in songwriting, audio production, and musical performance. Page, Bonham, Plant, and Jones were all virtuosos at their game -there was no weak link in the band. No, “Was Ringo as talented as the rest?” arguments. I’m glad Plant has the decency to let the legend rest and not tour them into a Zeppified version of the Rolling Stones traveling nostalgia show.
4. Bob Dylan
Of course he doesn’t have a great voice but here’s the key -that was initially part of the charm. He was the first to resonate with the public the reality you don’t have to be perfect to say something -you just have to have something important to say. Of course it helps when it sounds pleasing to the ear when one is saying it but his resonance was ‘content is king’ was it not? Look, even if you don’t like to listen to Dylan, you have to respect that he brought a lyrical weight to popular music that transcended ‘Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolli lollipop’. He was the one who ushered in the perception that one can-and perhaps should- sing about things that are important -not just ‘entertaining’. ‘No Direction Home’ is a must watch.
5. Frank Sinatra
A few years ago I was talking with an older Italian gentlemen who had a great voice in the style of Sinatra and the old school singers. I asked him who his favorite is and he said hands down Sinatra. I said, “Why”? “It was his phrasing”, he explained. “He had this unique, original, slick way of phrasing his vocal lines that just dripped with cool”.
Wow. I’m not a pro singer so I don’t know if I really, really get it. But one thing I do not do, is dis it.