The 4 Best Ways to Deal with Miserable Service People

So yesterday I went to get my truck detailed. As in 200 bucks detailed. Not that I am into that kind of thing -I’m just doing it to sell it. Really I am.

So I took it to one of those huge hand car wash things with like, 50 guys running around everywhere with rags looking really busy. And one gruff looking guy who appears to be running the whole lot. And of course that was the guy I had to deal with.  Late 40’s -50’s something guy who woke up on the wrong side of miserable that morning. And probably every morning as would I if I were 40-50 something work at the car wash. Ouch.

So this guy was not a happy camper but I had to deal with him. Plus, they did a good job before when my truck was so painfully crusty inside I thought it would implode if I sneezed too loud.

It was later in the day and I do not believe I had my afternoon coffee so I was a tad mellower than normal.  Not in a hurry mode. It was the ‘I want it done right and I am finally getting it done and selling this heap mode’ so I was in a mellowish kind of good mood.

But not ‘the guy’ -he was not in a good mood. Ever -I don’t think.

But I was cool -told him what I wanted. He was being distant and uncool and not very helpful. But for some reason it didn’t affect me and I continued to be mellow and his irritable vibrations from the underworld just bounced off and rolled over me.

Then he mellowed a bit and became fairly helpful. Emphasis on fairly though. Then I left for 4 hours.

When I came back they were not done. But still, I didn’t care (this is very unlike me) it would give me a reason to walk to starbucks, get some coffee and make a few phone calls.

So I asked the dude if he needed more time. He said yes. I asked how much. He said a few minutes. I said if you are going to take more than 20 minutes I’ll go get some coffee. He said it will be more than 20 minutes. I said no problem.  So I walked off.

Then I came back. Like an hour later. It still was not entirely done but it was close. Here’s where it gets interesting.

By this time this guy was acting like my buddy -ordering his grunts to finish off every last speck that asked to be removed. What happened? I’ll tell you exactly what happened.

It’s Way No.1 in dealing with grumpy service people-

Act like you don’t notice how rude they are and subversively provoke in them a sense of guilt, which in turn motivates them to work extra hard for you.

Now this doesn’t work all the time but when it does it’s great. Like with car wash guy. He was being pretty lame when I first started dealing with him and he probably deserved me getting a little rough with him (which I will explain in way no. 2) especially when my truck wasn’t done when he said it would be. But I was cool, and I acted like I didn’t notice him being lame.

The guilt motivator begins. And helpfulness begins. And then goes into overdrive.

I know this phenomenon because I have been on the other side of the fence.

I waited tables for a few years in my early college days. At first I loved it. Then I started to hate it. And then really, really hate it. So I would walk up to a table I didn’t like the looks of (terrible I know) and just be uncontrollably lame. Oops.

But sometimes they wouldn’t get it -how lame I was. It would be like they were too good and pure to even react to my lameness. Then I would feel terrible. And then really terrible. And by the end of their dinner I was offering to shine their shoes and piggy-back them out to the car. It’s kind of a twisted Stockholm syndrome sort of thing. “I was mean to you but you weren’t mean back even though I deserved it so now I want you to own me.” Like a pet. A really, really good pet. Woof.

The second way to deal with grumpy service people is to simply call them on it before you react emotionally.

The grumps do not expect this.

“Hey, um…is there a problem? ”

“What? Huh? NO! No problem at all!”

See, miserable grumps in service will often times get in a groove of rude and hostile misery -and nobody calls them on it. So when they do get called on it -politely but firmly- they get shocked into behaving. For a brief time I’m sure, but hey, long enough for your brief time with them.

The third is the most standard. And boring. But draining.

Get really upset and tell their boss.

Whether the grump knows or not how upset you are is irrelevant. Point is, it is the most ‘natural’ course of action so consequently the most expected. Sometimes it is the best thing to do, obviously. Sometimes you are actually doing good and doing the person a favor by complaining. Sometimes they just shouldn’t be there anymore but they don’t have the nerve to quit; they need a little…push. I know that as well as I was eventually fired from my miserable food serving job. And it was a good thing in the end.

The last is the best one-

When someone is ridiculously, exceptionally, and genuinely nice in an absolute crap job, go out of your way –way out of your way to tell their boss.

It is a backhanded way of dealing with the grumps on the job. If the exceptional people are praised and advanced in their positions, they will be the ones dealing with the miserable ones -flushing them out of the workforce like a bad smell.

A few weeks ago I went to the DMV which I loathe with a passion. Most people do. Why though? Partially because of the gross bureaucratic inefficiency, but also because the workers are usually the most unhelpful, unsympathetic, miserable people on the planet.

So I go -because the DMV screwed up in the first place and made me come in because of their error- and the first guy I get is the nicest, coolest guy ever. He was genuinely sympathetic to the screw up and the inconvenience it caused.

My thought on this guy was if he was the one in charge of the place -people would be forced to be nice. Or be gone. So I went out of my way to find this guy’s supervisor (dealing with Miss Misery 2.0 in the process of finding her) and tell her what a great job he was doing.

Hopefully the next time I go (which I do hope is never) he’ll be the one in charge whipping those duds into a virtual nice-a-thon.

Goodbye grumps.